If only...

Hi guys, so this is the first chapter and i hope u like it. Leave a comment and tell me what u think. =)

I sat in bed texting my baby's father, he was once again pushing us to the side for some stupid ass hoe. Ugh why did I have to have a child by him? He hasn't helped since I had him, I don't even know why I try to get him involved. He's not ready for this responsibility and to be honest I wasn't either but I'm dealing with this like the woman I'm trying to become. 

Well I guess I should introduce myself huh? I'm Jamia, and I just turned 19 less then a week ago. I have a one and a half year old son named Juelz by my ex of 3years, Omari. My son was diagnosed with SCD for those who don't know what thats short for, it means Sickle Cell Disease. He's been sick on and off since he was 4months, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I just wish I had Mari around to help me, he told me when I was pregnant that he would stick around and be a good and present father to our child but I should've known that was a lie. 

I live with my little sister and mom in her two story house, she gave me and Julz the second floor. Oh by the way Julz is what I call my son for short. Anyways my mom is puerto rican and my dad, who I haven't seen since I was 16 is black and puerto rican. When I told my mom I was pregnant she flipped out, I could understand though because we was so close and I could tell her anything... well except that. I was terrified to tell her, she would always tell me that if I was going to have sex that I was to always use protection but of course I let Mari talk me into not using condoms. Ugh I was so dumb and in love, I thought he would stick around but by the time I was 4months we broke up. 

It was now 2am and I heard faint cries coming Julz room. I sighed and got out of bed to go check on him, he was crying his little eyes out. I hate seeing him like this, it's so hard to tell if he's crying because of pain or just being a baby who wants his mom. I went to his crib and picked him up and cuddled him up on my chest. He's still so small, you would think he was 10months. I walked to the kitchen and made him a bottle but he didn't want that, so I took him back to my room and laid in bed with him. I humed a little song and tried to rock him back to sleep but he wasn't having it, i gave him his pacifier and went to get the thermometer and baby medicine just in case he was getting sick again. I took his temp and it was 100.1 which is a sign that he's getting sick, I gave him some medicine and put him back on my chest and began to rock and rub his back in small circles. He finally started to settle down, guess the medicine is starting to take effect. I kissed his forehead and dozed off.

                           ~Next morning~

I woke up to Julz gone, guess my mom got him this morning. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to relieve myself, brush my teeth and take a much need shower to relax my body. 25 minutes later I got out and lotioned my body and got dressed, as I was putting my hair in a messy bun I heard my lil man crying. I ran down the steps as I heard his cries get louder, I cooed his name as I got him from my mom. "What's wrong Juelz, mommy is here" he continued to cry "shhh Julz, it's ok" I said as I rubbed his little head. "Mom how long has he been up" I asked her. She looked at her watch and said since 7:30 "did you give him more medicine" I asked my mom "Yes Mia i did and gave him his bottle but he didn't drink much" she said as she got up to make her some hot tea, my mom came back in and sat in her pervious spot on the couch. Julz finally settled down and started to doze off, i grabbed my phone off the side table and called his doctor. They told me to bring him in at 1:30 and it was now 11:40, i took him upstairs to our floor and laid him down in his play pin so i could get dressed. After I was done getting dressed I went to Julz room to find him an outfit to wear. On the way back to my room I heard my phone going off, I knew exactly who it was from the tone that was playing. Ugh I don't have the time to talk to him, and to be honest I don't want to talk to so pushed ignore. I went to the bathroom to get a towel to wipe Julz down when I heard my phone going off again only this time it was a text alert...

Oh that sweet cliffhanger that i missed leaving yall on oh so much lmao.  Well did u guys like it or did it suck dirty donkey balls? =( lol tell me ur thoughts on it in the box below. Love ya!

@NickiMmemphis